![]() “Every memory that I had was slowly being wiped. He says he had little bits here and there in high school but took a large amount in April 2020 that resulted in “ego death.” Veltman’s testimony also touched on his experiences with psilocybin, or mushrooms. He hesitated in telling the jury more, apologizing for it being “difficult to listen to” before saying that he stabbed himself in the genitals on a few occasions as “I promised to God I would try.” He went to hospital on one of these occasions to stop the bleeding. He would then buy new electronics and do it all over again, burning through thousands of dollars and approximately “eight cellphones, three laptops, two TVs and one PlayStation.”Īt one point, he said, he told himself that if he ever masturbated again, “I’m going to castrate myself or attempt to.” He said he “became obsessed with pornography” and that watching it was considered a sin, so if he did watch it, he would smash his phone, computer or television. “I always ended up drinking again or smoking weed again and I ended up beating myself up about it because I had promised to God that I wouldn’t,” he said. He described feeling paranoid that he had damaged his brain from drugs and alcohol and even went to the hospital, where they told him he wouldn’t have damaged his brain based on the information he told them. Suspect in Maine shootings found dead, ending 2-day manhunt.Maine shootings: Here’s what we know about the victims so far.mass killing says ‘survivor’s guilt is very real’ Maine shooting: Woman who lived through N.S.
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